The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science by Kate McKinnon

Author:Kate McKinnon [MCKINNON, KATE]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2024-10-02T00:00:00+00:00

Millicent and her painted coterie sauntered confidently into Mme Flambé’s shop, only to be greeted by a very unwelcome surprise: Imogen Crant, the glue heiress from Mrs. Wintermacher’s class, was turning ten, and was already midway through her spoon-picking ceremony.

She was surrounded by her parents, the Crants; by her father’s business associates from the Crant Glue Factory; by her mother’s friends from the Ladies’ Philanthropy Society; and by some of her classmates—among them, young Lavinia-Steve, who Mrs. Crant had invited out of pity because the other Lavinias were busy riding horses that day, and Lavinia-Steve could not be near horses, on account of the hay. Thankfully Lavinia-Steve was sneezing too much from spoon store dust to notice her cousins as they entered in their painted sailor dresses, but still the Porches could not risk being seen, and so they turned to leave.

They were halfway out the door when Mme Flambé called to them: “Have a seat in the waiting area, mes chéries! I’ll be with you as soon as young Miss Crant selects her spoon!”

But sitting was not an option, not with their freshly painted outfits, so the group stood with their heads bowed and prayed for a swift selection.

Gertrude’s gaze wandered among the glass cases and landed in a darkened corner on CASE NUMBER 76: THE AZURE SPOON OF AZIZA. The glass case sat atop a marble column and housed a humble blue spoon.

Gertrude nudged Millicent and pointed toward the case, whereupon Millicent squealed with delight. “Yes! That’s the entrance! Thar she blows! Now all that’s left is to get the key, and the entrance to Fifi Bubblegumme’s laboratory will be revealed!”

“Ahem!” Mme Flambé said, and the room fell silent. “I will now preside over the Spoon Selection of Miss Imogen Crant, who is such a kind young woman,1 and whose father, the ingenious manufacturer of Crant Glue, has been the moral backbone of this town,2 and whose mother has raised over ten thousand dollars with the Ladies’ Philanthropy Society.3 Imogen Crant, which silver spoon will you choose?”

“Hmm… maybe… this one?” Imogen pointed to a diamond-encrusted spoon, though she couldn’t quite be bothered to extend her finger.

Mme Flambé produced her infamous ring of keys, which was as large as a dinner plate and held thousands of keys, each corresponding to an individual display case. Everyone in Antiquarium knew that the joy of choosing a spoon would be tempered by the torture of watching Mme Flambé flip through those keys.

Still, Gertrude looked on the whole scene with longing. It’s not that she particularly wanted a silver spoon—she could always just take one from the dining room if she needed one—but she wanted what a silver spoon represented: being a part of the rhythm of Antiquarium, the cycle of life. Why, if you never got a silver spoon, how could you ever really call yourself an adult?

Finally, after what felt like a full calendar year, Mme Flambé handed Imogen the diamond-encrusted spoon. It glinted in the morning light, sending a miraculous spray of playful golden sunbeams across the onlookers’ white hats and white suits.

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